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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188220">Punch Drunk Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/pseuds/sagansjagger'>sagansjagger</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Identity Reveal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:15:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188220</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/pseuds/sagansjagger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Not that Adrien would complain about that. Marinette was a beautiful girl, and Adrien would love to pull her into his lap. Right now. </p><p>He looped his arms around Marinette, and Tom gave him a look. “Careful, son,” Tom said, putting the fear of God into him. “You might want to rethink where you’re putting your hands.”</p><p>Adrien smiled goofily at Tom and let go of Marinette. She rested her shoulder on Adrien’s collarbone, nearly knocking him over. He steadied himself and held up his hands.</p><p>“Look,” Adrien said, waggling his fingers and laughing. “Jazz hands. Jazz hands that are nowhere near adorable Marinette.”</p><p>“Adorable?” Tom said, raising a brow.</p><p>Sabine chuckled again. “Let them be teenagers, Tom. You’re the one who got them tipsy.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Sabine Cheng, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Tom Dupain, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug &amp; Tom Dupain, Sabine Cheng &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Sabine Cheng &amp; Tom Dupain, Sabine Cheng/Tom Dupain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Miraculous LadyBug Stories, Miraculous Ladybug and Cat/Chat Noir Reveal</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Punch Drunk Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseagully/gifts">sseagully</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It is I, Drunkenator!” the akuma bellowed in the middle of the street next to the Trocadero fountains, holding up his spigot hands. Purple tubes connected the nozzles to a beer keg on his back labeled ‘HM Tap.’ “Ladybug and Chat Noir, give me your miraculouses!”</p><p>“Sorry, those aren’t on the house!” Chat said, giggling at his own pun as he backflipped over a stream of amber liquid sprayed by the akuma’s hands. The rush of air blown by the violent gush floofed his wild mane. “But I’m glad you asked--it was worth a shot!”</p><p>“Chat!” Ladybug said, spinning her yo-yo to shield herself from the beer. “This is no time to make jokes!”</p><p>“Why not, Bugaboo?” Chat said, grinning fiercely. <em>My jokes are great! Why don’t you ever like them?</em> “Punning an akuma into submission is the best way to spend a Saturday!”</p><p>“I will not submit!” Drunkenator roared, sending twin streams spurting in Chat’s direction. He dodged easily, doing a cartwheel near one of the fountains.</p><p>Ladybug scoffed. “Just don’t get any alcohol in your mouth or nose or you’ll end up like the affected civilians!”</p><p>“Wasn’t planning on it, my Lady!” Chat said, and he wasn’t. The people around them were stumbling into each other and laughing, puking, or crying. Chat didn’t need to be drunk to be in a good mood, and he’d decided a long time ago never to get hit by an akuma again, just because that was ridiculously inconvenient to Ladybug.</p><p>And he never wanted to be an inconvenience.</p><p>“Give me your miraculouses!” Drunkenator demanded again, using the same exact attack he’d been using for the past five minutes.</p><p>Chat turned back to the akuma, smiling smugly. “I was worried you’d forgotten about that! You seem a little absinthe-minded!”</p><p>“Chat!” Ladybug said, taking a moment to facepalm.</p><p>That was a mistake. Drunkenator leapt above her, showering her with alcohol. Chat screamed and tackled her out of the way before the spray hit her, getting drenched himself. He choked on the taste of the sour hops flooding his mouth and nose.</p><p>Chat rolled with Ladybug on the street, landing on top of her. Immediately, he felt warm, his limbs heavy and tingly. His vision was blurry. He was dizzy.</p><p>And everything was so <em>silly</em>. He chortled as Ladybug half-heartedly shoved him off, complaining with a whiny, “Chaaaat.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Chat said, rolling on his side. He draped one leaden arm over her chest, trying to embrace her but not quite succeeding. Chat made a grab for her, trying to wrap his arms around her, but even when she wasn’t moving off the ground, he couldn’t quite make the embrace work. “I am so drunk right now. I don’t even remember going to the pub.”</p><p>“Chat,” Ladybug said, smiling sheepishly at him. Chat could hear her slowed heart rate in his feline ears. “Did you know you’re a ridiculous kitty? But you’re <em>my</em> kitty. Okay? Don’t ever forget that you’re my kitty. I could kiss you.”</p><p>“Awww,” Chat said, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. “You’re my kitty, too!”</p><p>“Give me your miraculous!” Drunkenator demanded, trying to paw at Chat’s ring hand with his own nozzle ones. Chat batted his attempts away with a cackle. A purple moth mask flooded the akuma’s features. “Yes, Hawkmoth. Yes. I’m trying to get them. But… I don’t have hands. Of course. Yes. Okay, I’ll wait for you.”</p><p>Chat snickered. “Didya hear that, Ladybug?” he said, rolling over onto his back. He turned his head to face his Lady. Had she always been so beautiful? “Hawky is coming!”</p><p>“Ohhh, noooo,” Ladybug said, laughing so hard she had to hold her belly. “I have a cramp. Chat! Did you know I could get cramps?”</p><p>Chat gasped. “You can?”</p><p>Drunkenator joined in the laughter. “You guys look so stupid right now.”</p><p>“Says you, spigot hands!” Chat said, throwing his head back on the asphalt and guffawing. “Hey, Ladybug, I made a pun! Did you hear my pun?”</p><p>“Yeah, Chat! All your puns are funny,” Ladybug said, staggering to her feet. She swayed on them, and tried tossing her yo-yo forward to hit Drunkenator. The weapon bounced harmlessly off his chest.</p><p>“Didya hear that, akuma?” Chat said, trying to stand as well. He teetered, and nearly fell over again, catching himself on the ground with a hand. “She likes my puns! I made a pun baby!”</p><p>“That’s gross, Chat Noir,” Drunkenator said, spraying him again with beer.</p><p>Chat sputtered and coughed. He whipped his head around to yell in outrage at Drunkenator and ask him why he’d done that, but that was a mistake. Chat’s stomach revolted. He turned his head and retched, his turkey chili coming up the wrong way.</p><p>Throat burning and eyes watering, Chat wiped the vomit off his lips on the back of his wrist. Embarrassment flooded his already-warm cheeks. “Oh, oh, gosh, this is terrible,” he said, finally getting to his feet. “I’m sorry, Ladybug. I don’t know what came over me. I've… I've failed you.”</p><p>“Noooo, Kitty,” Ladybug said, stumbling over to him and placing a wobbly hand on his shoulder. “You are brave and beautiful, okay? You are valid. I love you so dang much, my heart hurts.”</p><p>Chat’s feline ears fluttered. “Do ya mean it, Ladybug? You love me?” he said, his heart soaring. He pressed on without waiting for her answer. “Because I love you, too. You’re so strong and smart and brave and cou-- cou-- the other word for brave that starts with a c. You’re great, Ladybug. Just great. And your butt is very pretty.”</p><p>Ladybug flushed. “Chat,” she said, cupping his cheek and drawing him closer to her. She leaned forward, her lips pursed.</p><p>“Uh, guys,” Drunkenator said, waving a nozzle hand. “Guys?”</p><p>Chat ignored him, focused on finally getting a kiss from Ladybug. He’d have to thank Drunkenator later for bringing them together. Chat wanted to kiss her so badly. He’d never wanted anything more. This was his dream.</p><p>A dream which soon morphed into a nightmare as a splitting headache struck him. He squinted in the sunlight, which was suddenly viciously bright, and fought dizziness. Nausea punched him in the throat, and he nearly dry heaved as his stomach seized. His limbs felt like dead weight, and his exhaustion nearly pulled him under.</p><p>And he was starving. <em>What the heck?</em></p><p>“Guys?” Drunkenator said again, and Chat hissed at him for making a sound, which only redoubled the pain in his head. He gripped it, groaning. He ran his tongue over his teeth, which felt fuzzy. His mouth was dry--and still tasted like puke--and his thirst was terrible.</p><p>One look at Ladybug showed Chat that she was faring no better.</p><p>“Oh, my gosh,” Chat said, glaring at Drunkenator. “What did you do to us?”</p><p>Drunkenator puffed his chest out. “Hangover! The worst one known to mankind!”</p><p>Ladybug groaned. Chat could hear her heart slamming rapidly in her ribcage.</p><p>Chat gripped his baton in a shaking hand. “Before today, hangover wasn’t even in my vodkabulary,” he said, pointing his baton at Drunkenator. “And I totally hate you for making that the case.”</p><p>“Don’t hate the akumatized victim, Chat,” Ladybug said, advancing on Drunkenator. “It’s rude.”</p><p>Drunkenator spritzed alcohol at them again, but Chat and Ladybug dodged as best as they were able. Thankfully, the beer didn’t seem to make them drunk again.</p><p>“Kitty!” Ladybug said, wincing. “Cover me!”</p><p>Chat leapt in front of his Lady, staggering a couple of steps as he tried to stick the landing. He planted his feet, biting back a groan as the movements tweaked his head, and spun his baton to give Ladybug the distraction-free space she needed.</p><p>Ladybug threw her yo-yo into the air and summoned her Lucky Charm. She caught the large, rectangular object. “A… birthday cake?”</p><p>Drunkenator stopped spraying. “Ladybug,” he breathed. “How did you know it was my birthday?”</p><p>Chat blinked, and whipped beer off his baton. “What?”</p><p>“I, uh,” Ladybug said, offering him the cake. “Happy birthday, Drunkenator!”</p><p>Drunkenator clapped his nozzle hands together. “That’s why I was so upset before! It’s my twenty-first birthday, and no one showed.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s terrible,” Chat said, laying a hand on the akuma’s shoulder. “I understand what it’s like to spend a birthday alone. That’s no fun.”</p><p>Ladybug gave Chat an odd look, but then presented the cake to Drunkenator again. “Do you want us to sing to you?”</p><p>“Oh, would you?” Drunkenator said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Watching him, Chat nearly puked again. “I would love that, Ladybug, thank you.”</p><p>“Joyful birthday,” Chat sang, his voice decent despite the gravel, but his passion for the song entirely lacking. “Happy birthday.” Ladybug joined in, sounding like an unenthusiastic zombie. “All of our most sincere wishes for your birthday.”</p><p>Drunkenator squealed. A purple moth mask snapped into place over his face. “Hi, Hawkmoth! Yes, I know you’re stuck in traffic, but they’re singing to me! Did you hear?”</p><p>Chat chanced a look at Ladybug. She shrugged and kept singing. “Your friends today are all gathered,” she sang, and Chat joined in for the last verse. “We wish for happiness for your birthday.”</p><p>Drunkenator’s eyes glistened under the moth mask. He tried to wipe his tears away with his nozzle hands, but wasn’t successful. “Thanks, you guys. That means a lot. Hey, listen, if you wanted to hang out after this, I--eerrrgh!”</p><p>Purple bubbles flowed over the akuma’s body and fled, revealing a college student with a neckbeard and a cap reminiscent of Nino’s wrapped around a keg. A white butterfly floated away innocently. “What happened?”</p><p>“Ladybug,” Chat whimpered, clutching his head. His mouth felt like he’d eaten a pack of Q-Tips. “Use the miraculous cure. <em>Please.</em>.”</p><p>“You got it, Kitty,” Ladybug said, and hurled the cake into the air. “Miraculous Ladybug!”</p><p>Her millions of little helpers flowed around Chat, and he sighed in relief as the hangover symptoms left him. Now he was right as rain--except for being tired, because the ladybugs never cured that.</p><p>He wondered who the victim was, but Chat had a more pressing concern. He took Ladybug’s hand just as she was walking over to the former akuma. “Chat?” she said, blinking at him.</p><p>“Excuse me,” the victim said. They both ignored him.</p><p>“My Lady,” he said, giving her a look with hooded eyes. “Did you really mean what you said when you were plastered?” He swallowed. “That you love me?”</p><p>Chat smelled her blush before he saw it, and was mesmerized by the color flooding her cheeks. “Well, would you look at that, I’ve got to bug out--so, Chat, you take the victim home, hahaha!” She extricated her hand and threw her yo-yo at a nearby roof, leaving Chat dumbfounded.</p><p>“Excuse me,” the victim said. Chat ignored him.</p><p>“You have three dots left!” Chat called after the fleeing Ladybug, annoyed with her for leaving him in the lurch. <em>She could have given me a straight answer, but nooo…</em> He sighed, holding his no-longer-aching head in his hand. <em>She… probably didn’t mean it. We were drunk. She couldn’t possibly have meant it.</em></p><p>“Excuse me,” the victim said, placing a hand on Chat’s shoulder. Chat jumped.</p><p>“Oh, it’s… it’s you,” Chat said, feeling inarticulate. “Yeah, guess I should take you back home, right?”</p><p>“Why bother?” the victim said, his shoulders sagging. “There’s no one waiting for me anyway.”</p><p>Having been honest about spending birthdays alone, Chat’s heart went out to him. “I guess I could hang out with you if you want?”</p><p>The victim’s eyes lit up. “Really?”</p><p>“Sure,” Chat said, rubbing the back of his head. “No drinking, though, I’ve… been drunk enough for one day.”</p><p>“You got it, Chat Noir!” the victim said, flashing a thumbs up. “We can play non-alcoholic beer pong!”</p><p>Chat offered the twenty-one-year-old a weak smile. “Great.”</p><p>***</p><p>Marinette and Adrien had grown close in the past year. So close, in fact, that when Alya and Nino went home for the night from Marinette’s private fifteenth birthday party at her parent’s bakery, Adrien stayed behind.</p><p>He was really supposed to go home. Really, really. But the comradery he felt with Marinette and the gentle, loving glances her parents gave him made him beg Nathalie to let him stay. She told him she wouldn’t inform his father that he was staying for dinner as long as Adrien did some extra piano practice tomorrow, which he agreed to whole-heartedly.</p><p>He did not expect the opportunity to get tipsy.</p><p>“I think it’s high time you tried a good red wine,” Tom said to the two teens, placing a Cabernet Sauvignon on the table next to Adrien’s plate, which formerly held roasted duck. “This is a Margaux, from the Bordeaux province.”</p><p>“It… looks like a good vintage,” Adrien said, knowing nothing about wines. The bottle looked like a bottle. “Very, uh, full-bodied.”</p><p>Marinette smirked and called him out on his ignorance. “Adrien Agreste, do you actually know anything about wine?”</p><p>Sabine chuckled as Adrien ducked his head, heat rushing to his cheeks. “No,” he said, “but that’s what I’ve heard people say.”</p><p>People being his father. Gabriel had been a connoisseur of wines, but had stopped drinking them at the table after Emilie had disappeared and no longer drank with him. Adrien had been looking forward to trying his first wine with his father, but that dream had been dashed.</p><p>Now Adrien had the opportunity to try one with his adopted family, the Dupain-Chengs.</p><p>But he was reluctant to drink alcohol again so soon after Drunkenator had messed with his system. Adrien could still taste the vomit of his drunken escapade, could still feel the sting of rejection from Ladybug.</p><p>Plus, when he thought about it, <em>Hawkmoth had been coming.</em> Chat and Ladybug had been in real, palpable danger, and had brushed it off because being drunk was kind of fun and they’d been too stupid in the moment to focus on defeating the akuma until the hangover happened.</p><p>And the hangover. <em>Ugh,</em> Adrien thought, shaking his head at the very thought of the cotton mouth. He never wanted to have a hangover ever again. The ‘worst one known to man’ had scared him off of alcohol for good.</p><p>Or so he thought.</p><p>“Margaux lays on a soil of white graves--a special kind of gravel brought from the mountains by the river,” Tom was saying, extolling the virtues of the wine country the grapes were from. “The environmental factors that affect the grapes’ phenotype, including natural contexts, farming practices, and growth habitats--”</p><p>“Tom,” Sabine said, gently smacking her husband on the shoulder. “You haven’t even asked the kids if they want some wine.”</p><p>Adrien glanced at Marinette. To his surprise, she looked… vaguely uncomfortable. She was biting her lip, and her brow was furrowed slightly, her bluebell eyes focused on the bottle. He didn’t know why she appeared so reluctant to try the drink.</p><p>Seeming to recognize that he was watching her, she turned to him. “Adrien?” she said, blinking. “Do you want to try the wine?”</p><p>“I…” Adrien said, taking in Tom’s eager look, Sabine’s neutral expression, and Marinette’s skeptical one.</p><p>Adrien examined the facts. He wasn’t in danger anymore; he was safe in the Dupain-Chengs’ home. He wasn’t going to get rejected by Ladybug; Marinette was his good friend and nothing more. And he probably wouldn’t get the chance to try a wine until he was eighteen and on his own, as his father wanted nothing to do with wine, having to schedule dinners with Adrien.</p><p>He beamed at Tom. “Yes, please, sir, if you don’t mind.”</p><p>“What’s this sir business?” Tom grumbled good-naturedly as he uncorked the bottle. “Call me Tom, son.”</p><p><em>Son,</em> Adrien thought, feeling warmth spread through his chest. Every time Tom called him son, Adrien felt curiously happy, as if the man had truly welcomed him into the fold. Adrien could pretend that Tom loved him, could take that feeling of being treasured and stow it away in his heart to examine later.</p><p>Sabine smiled at him, and then turned to Marinette. “Well, Marinette? It’s your birthday. Do you want to try the wine?”</p><p>Marinette offered Adrien a shy grin. “I guess if Adrien’s trying it,” she said softly, “then I can, too.”</p><p><em>Adorable,</em> Adrien thought. His toes curled. Now that his very good, very cute friend Marinette was trying the drink with him, he knew the night was going to be a good one.</p><p>Tom waxed poetic about the Margaux, saying it had a full-flavored bouquet and a magnificent elegance while Sabine retrieved four fluted glasses from the cabinet. She set one down in front of each of them, and Tom poured a healthy amount into each glass.</p><p>“Here,” Tom said, raising his glass and nodding at them until they did the same. “First, we evaluate the wine by sight. Look straight down into the glass. What do you see?”</p><p>“Wine,” Adrien said, and Marinette giggled.</p><p>Tom guffawed, slapping the table, and Adrien beamed. “Yes, of course you see wine, son,” Tom said. “But if you look straight down into it, you can get a sense of the depth of color. This gives you a hint about the density and the saturation of the wine.”</p><p>Adrien blinked at the man. The wine was pretty, Adrien thought. It was a deep purple-red color that sat thickly in the glass. Adrien could hardly see anything through it. “And what does that tell us?”</p><p>Sabine answered for Tom, tilting her glass and looking at it in the light. “How the drink feels in the mouth.”</p><p>Marinette mimicked her mother, though Adrien wondered if she was seeing more than he was. All he saw was wine.</p><p>On a tear, Tom cheered his wife. “That’s right,” he said, grinning at them. “A true connoisseur can identify certain grapes by color and scent. A lighter, pale brick shade would suggest a Sangiovese, whereas a deeply-saturated, purple-black color might be a Zinfandel.”</p><p>“Can we drink it yet?” Marinette said, grinning at her father.</p><p>“Not yet,” Sabine said, chuckling. “He wants to educate you.”</p><p>Tom flushed, looking winded. Adrien wondered if Marinette’s blush came from her mother or her father. Adrien guessed the latter.</p><p>“Yes, well,” Tom said, tilting his glass, and indicating that they should all do the same. “Hold your glass up into the light and look at the wine from the side. That way you can see how clear the liquid is.”</p><p>Adrien did as he was told, though he couldn’t see anything floating in his wine. Marinette squinted at hers. Sabine swirled her glass, obviously already on the next step.</p><p>“What does a clear wine mean?” Adrien asked Tom, enjoying the way the man’s eyes lit up at the question.</p><p>“A clear wine is always a good sign,” Tom said, smiling at Adrien. “Wines that are murky usually mean there’s some chemical or filtration problems. Or an unfiltered wine, or one that has sediment due to being shaken up before being poured.”</p><p>“This one looks pretty clear,” Marinette said, and Tom nodded rapidly.</p><p>“It does, pumpkin,” Tom said, and Adrien smiled at the pet name the man used for his daughter. “Now, tilt your glass so the wine thins out toward the rim--”</p><p>“Tom,” Sabine said, chuckling at her husband. “They don’t care about how to look at the wine. Just let them drink it.”</p><p>Marinette laughed, as did Adrien.</p><p>Tom huffed. “Can I at least teach them how to scent the bouquet?”</p><p>Adrien perked up. Since he’d started running around as Chat and spending more and more time transformed, his sense of smell had increased dramatically. Scent was important to him now, more than it had ever been, so learning how to properly explore a wine using his nose had a certain appeal.</p><p>“I’d like to learn, sir,” Adrien said, trying to swirl his glass like Sabine did and almost spilling it.</p><p>Adrien did not miss that Marinette gave him a soft, gentle look. He wondered if she was indulging him.</p><p>“Call me Tom, son,” Tom said, his eyes crinkling around the corners as he smiled. “Swirling the wine is the first step. Don’t bury your nose inside of the glass, but hover over the top. Take a series of quick, short sniffs, then back off and figure out what you’ve smelled.”</p><p>Adrien leaned over his wine like a crop duster surveying a corn field, and sniffed several times. Marinette, Tom, and Sabine did the same. The scent was heady, but Adrien wondered what he was supposed to be looking for. He released his glass and sat back to listen to Tom’s explanation.</p><p>“In every good glass of wine, there are thousands of aromas, so forget about finding them all,” Tom said, and Adrien closed his eyes, listening to the man’s voice lull him. “First, you want to look for flaws in the wine. Musty smells, burnt matches, vinegar, nail polish, sweaty leather--these are all odors you want to avoid.”</p><p>Adrien nodded. He didn’t smell anything like that in the Margaux. “I smell… fruit.”</p><p>“Very good, Adrien!” Sabine said, and Adrien opened his eyes to revel in her praise. “Wine is made from grapes, so it should always smell like fresh fruit, unless it is very old, very sweet, or very cold.”</p><p>Marinette touched Adrien’s arm. He turned to her and caught her smiling at him. “Nice, Adrien,” she said, and he beamed at her. “I smelled that, too. What else do you smell?”</p><p>Adrien tilted his head, considering his glass. “Toast. And coffee? And mushrooms.”</p><p>Tom’s jaw dropped. “How did you know that, son? You must have a super sniffer.”</p><p>“Hahaha,” Adrien said, waving a hand. “Nooo, my nose is just… really good, I guess! It’s not magic at all.”</p><p>Marinette gave him an odd look as Tom and Sabine exchanged glances.</p><p>“Anyway,” Adrien said, gulping. “Should we taste it now?”</p><p>“First,” Tom said, and Adrien tilted his head, “let me explain to you what you’re smelling. You’re right that toast, coffee, and mushrooms are all a part of the Margaux. Mushroom scents can help you determine the types of grapes, or possible origin of the wine. Too much mushroom may mean that the grapes failed to ripen sufficiently.”</p><p>“I don’t think there’s too much mushroom,” Adrien said, tilting his glass and looking at the liquid in the light again. “It’s not overwhelming.”</p><p>Marinette sniffed her wine. “I don’t smell that at all.”</p><p>Sabine smiled at her daughter. “It takes time to identify scent profiles in wines. Adrien’s nose is just really good, like he said.” Sabine winked at him. “Not magic at all, surely.”</p><p>Adrien resisted the urge to squint at his adopted mother. <em>What does she know?</em></p><p>“Toast and coffee,” Tom continued, unabated, “can indicate aging in new oak barrels. Barrels can impart a vast array of scents and flavors to finished wines, depending on a number of factors--”</p><p>“Papa,” Marinette said, chuckling. “Can we just drink the wine?”</p><p>“I know what we need,” Sabine said, standing from the table. “We need cheese.”</p><p>Plagg vibrated in Adrien’s shirt, causing him to glance down at his pocket. He hoped no one saw that, though Marinette was looking at him strangely again.</p><p>“Cheese!” Tom said, grinning. “An excellent idea. You know which one to grab, right honeybun?”</p><p>“Absolutely, sugarplum,” Sabine said, crossing to the fridge. She returned with a plate of a yellow, cow’s milk cheese and some crackers. She began slicing some hunks off the block. “Gouda. Fits well with this particular wine.”</p><p>Adrien’s pocket vibrated again. He wondered if he’d be able to slip some of the gouda into his shirt for Plagg.</p><p>“Now is it time to taste it?” Marinette said, sighing.</p><p>“Yes,” Tom said, but held out a hand as Marinette placed her lips to her glass. “Just a second! You need to know how.” Marinette groaned and set her glass down. “Take a sip, not a large swallow, of wine into your mouth and try sucking on it as if pulling it through a straw.”</p><p>Adrien furrowed his brow. “Won't that look… strange?”</p><p>“It looks very silly,” Sabine said, passing Adrien some cheese on a cracker, which he gladly took and popped into his mouth. The cheese was mild, melting in his mouth even as the salty cracker crunched as he chewed. “But the motions aerate the wine and circulates it throughout your mouth.”</p><p>“And that’s… good,” Adrien said, and encountered nods from both adults.</p><p>“Now,” Tom said, raising his glass. “A toast! To our lovely Marinette, who always puts others before herself, and is the best daughter a father could ever ask for.”</p><p>“Hear, hear,” Adrien said, and Marinette covered her flushing face with her hands.</p><p>“Adrien!” she said, nudging him in the shoulder. “You’re not supposed to agree with him!”</p><p>Adrien laughed. <em>She’s so cute.</em></p><p>“Remember, dear,” Sabine said to Marinette, passing her some cheese and crackers. “You’re not supposed to take a drink if you’re the one being toasted.”</p><p>Marinette grumbled, resting her cheeks in her hands. “Okay, Maman.”</p><p>Tom chuckled, his green eyes twinkling. “But I think we can make an exception, just this once.”</p><p>Adrien grinned at the adorable way she sat up and seized upon her glass, puffing out her cheeks as she tried to swallow in the way her parents had taught her. She looked ridiculous, endearing her to Adrien even further.</p><p>Tom and Sabine took sips of their wines.</p><p>Now, it was Adrien’s turn. The moment had arrived. He took a sip.</p><p>The wine had the consistency of whole milk, puckering Adrien’s lips with sourness. Residual sugars, but not too many, balanced out the tang. Bitterness dried out his lips.</p><p>Then the flavors exploded in his mouth. Black currant and black cherry rolled around heavily on his tongue. Adrien tasted vegetal notes of green bell pepper and mushroom, as well as spice notes of coffee, vanilla, and clove. The toast taste was meek and mild, not overpowering the rest, but complimenting the rest of the tastiness.</p><p>Adrien smacked his lips and took another sip. Sabine passed him more cheese, and he gratefully indulged. The mild gouda counteracted the bitter, drying sensation, and moistened his mouth enough to enjoy more wine.</p><p>“Well, son?” Tom asked, swirling his glass. “What do you think?”</p><p>Adrien hesitated. He didn’t know what to say. He thought the wine was… interesting. He wasn’t a connoisseur; he didn’t have the right words to describe wine, but he had to say something. Tom was looking at him so expectantly, Adrien knew the man wanted his education to have paid off.</p><p>Sabine came to Adrien’s rescue. “Don’t pressure him, Tom,” she chided, clicking her tongue. “Just let him enjoy the wine.”</p><p>Tom laughed. “I’m just asking what he thought.”</p><p>“I think it’s good, Papa,” Marinette said, having worked through half her wine already. Adrien busied himself by catching up to her, and wondered if Tom would refill their glasses.</p><p>“I think it’s good, too, sir,” Adrien said, taking another gulp. “I taste a lot of different flavors.”</p><p>Tom grinned at Adrien. “Call me Tom. Don’t drink too fast, you don’t want the alcohol to go to your head,” he said. “What flavors do you taste?”</p><p>“Black currant,” Adrien said, sipping more and rolling the liquid around on his tongue. “And cherry. And bell pepper? And everything I smelled.”</p><p>“Very good, Adrien,” Sabine said, and Tom reached across the table and clapped him on the back. Adrien wrapped himself up in their praise like a warm blanket, and wished he could live there forever.</p><p>By the end of their glasses, Tom did refill his and Sabine’s, but not Adrien’s or Marinette’s. Adrien decided that was okay; he was feeling warm and relaxed anyway. He also felt wobbly and light, and had decided that he could fly sitting down.</p><p>And again, everything was <em>funny.</em></p><p>“Do you know what my favorite kind of tape is?” Adrien said, his words coming out in a rush. He had to say them as quickly as possible, because otherwise he’d forget them, like he had been doing.</p><p>“What?” Marinette said, snaking an arm around his shoulders. He leaned into her comforting touch.</p><p>Adrien couldn’t hold it back anymore. “Scotch.”</p><p>Tom chortled, and Sabine covered her smile with her hand. “Is that an alcohol pun, son?” Tom said, shaking his head. “I don’t believe it! Adrien makes puns!”</p><p>“He doooooes,” Marinette said, leaning almost entirely on him. If she wasn’t careful, Adrien thought, she’d end up in his lap.</p><p>Not that he’d complain about that. Marinette was a beautiful girl, and Adrien would love to pull her into his lap. Right now.</p><p>He looped his arms around Marinette, and Tom gave him a look. “Careful, son,” Tom said, putting the fear of God into him. “You might want to rethink where you’re putting your hands.”</p>
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</div><p>Adrien smiled goofily at Tom and let go of Marinette. She rested her shoulder on Adrien’s collarbone, nearly knocking him over. He steadied himself and held up his hands.</p><p>“Look,” Adrien said, waggling his fingers and laughing. “Jazz hands. Jazz hands that are nowhere near adorable Marinette.”</p><p>“Adorable?” Tom said, raising a brow.</p><p>Sabine chuckled again. “Let them be teenagers, Tom. You’re the one who got them tipsy.”</p><p>Tom harrumphed. He ate some cheese and burped, and Adrien giggled like a loon.</p><p>“Do your burps taste like drunk monkeys?” Adrien said, and Marinette threw back her head and ugly laughed. He wanted to kiss her on the cheek.</p><p>Well, why shouldn’t he?</p><p>Adrien swayed towards her, laying a heavy hand on her shoulder. He pursed his lips, tilting his head forward, but was stopped by Tom gently pushing him back with a huge hand on his chest. “Son,” Tom said, giving him a pained look, which Adrien thought was hysterical. “Had I known you were going to get handsy, I never would have given you the wine.”</p><p>“Handsy?” Adrien said, blinking up at Tom. “Oh, no, M. Dupain, I wasn’t getting <em>handsy</em>! I was getting kissy-faced. Marinette is a wonderful girl, don’t you think so?”</p><p>Marinette piped up. “I think so! Sometimes. But only sometimes. Other times I don't, isn't that weird? I want to think I'm wonderful, but sometimes I don't. But sometimes I do!”</p><p>Sabine grinned. “We all think so, Adrien.”</p><p>Tom grumbled, folding his arms.</p><p>“Do you know who else is a wonderful girl?” Adrien said dreamily. “Ladybug. She’s great. She’s great and I love her so much and I wish she loved me back but she doesn’t and that’s so sad, just the saddest thing, and oh, no, now I made myself sad.”</p><p>Adrien sagged in his seat, sniffling. “Ladybug won’t ever love me, will she?”</p><p>Marinette gasped. “Of course Ladybug loves you! She loves you so much!”</p><p>Sabine blinked. “How do you know that, dear?”</p><p>“Becaaaause,” Marinette said, laying a hand on her heart. “I’m the expert on all things Ladybug. Because I <em>am</em> Ladybug.”</p><p>Tom choked on a cracker. “W-What?”</p><p>Adrien squealed, clasping his hands together in front of him. “Really?” he said, rocketing up to cloud nine. He took Marinette’s hands in his and gave her knuckles a sloppy kiss. “That’s great! Because I’m Chat Noir!”</p><p>“No freaking way!” Marinette said, her unfocused eyes glittering. “That’s amazing! Your fingers are like sausages!”</p><p>Sabine started panicking. She covered her mouth with her hands and panted. “Tom!” she hissed. “We can’t send Adrien home like this! Their identities have been compromised!”</p><p>Tom stood and hustled to the kitchen. “How would you like some water, son?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, water sounds great,” Adrien said, stroking Marinette’s fingers with his thumbs. “I hate plain water but drinking some sounds like a really good idea right now, especially since I’ve just found the girl I’m head over heels in love with.” He raised his hand to stroke Marinette’s cheek, but ended up patting her instead. “Isn’t she beautiful?”</p><p>Tom returned with two full glasses of water and placed them in front of the two tipsy teens. “Drink.”</p><p>Adrien sipped at the water.</p><p>Marinette giggled. “You’re beautiful, too, Adrien. Chat. Chatdrien? Children?”</p><p>“Children,” Sabine said, giving them both a calculating look that Adrien laughed at. “Adrien, how would you like a little nap?”</p><p>Marinette looped her arms around Adrien and nuzzled his cheek with her nose. He gladly embraced her back. “Nooo, Maman. Adrien needs to sleep with me!”</p><p>Sitting down at the table, Tom choked on nothing this time.</p><p>“Marinette,” Sabine said, grimacing. “Adrien will be napping in the spare room, okay? He is not to climb onto your bed.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t climb there,” Adrien said, utterly sincere. “I’d pole vault there. Because, you know, I’m Chat Noir!”</p><p>“Drink, son,” Tom said, pushing Adrien’s water to him.</p><p>The boy obediently took a gulp, swirling the clear liquid around in his mouth. “That’s gross, sir.”</p><p>“Call me Tom,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Finish your water, kids.”</p><p>Adrien did as he was told, as did Marinette. They both nursed their water, one arm around each other. Upon catching each other’s eyes, they burst into giggles.</p><p>After Adrien finished his drink, Sabine stood, and gently extricated him from Marinette’s grip. The girl whined pitifully, but Sabine was already helping Adrien wobble to his feet. “Come with me, Adrien,” Sabine said, smiling gently at him. “It’s time to take an hour-long nap. You’ll be right as rain in no time.”</p><p>“I have a doughnut belly,” Marinette said, making Adrien burst into a raucous laughter.</p><p>“And raccoons have hands!” Adrien said, as Sabine led him out of the dining room, leaving Marinette to be tended to by Tom.</p><p>“Now, do you think you could take a little nap?” Sabine said, helping Adrien up the stairs. He tottered, leaning heavily on her as she wrapped an arm around his slim waist.</p><p>“Oh, I’m not tired,” Adrien said, and then yawned. Sabine practically dragged him into the guest room, where he collapsed on the bed. “I just need oxygen to my brain. Brain is a funny word. Hahaha! But I’m not tired. Get me a blanket?”</p><p>“Of course, honey,” Sabine said, retrieving a blanket from a nearby hope chest. She draped the blanket around Adrien, who had curled up on his side, yawning again. She uncovered his feet, and carefully removed his shoes, revealing his wriggling toes.</p><p>“Thank you, Maman,” Adrien said, as she covered his feet again. “You’re the best mother a boy could ask for. I’m really warm now.”</p><p>Sabine smoothed his bangs off his forehead. “Sleep, Adrien. You’ll be better in an hour, okay?”</p><p>“I’m better noooow,” Adrien said, giggling. His head lolled to the side, feeling heavy. His eyelids closed despite himself, and he was soon out like a light.</p><p>***</p><p>Ladybug ran her fingers through Chat’s hair, making him purr against her. He was lying in her lap, his arms wrapped around her waist, as she sat at the top of the Eiffel Tower. “Silly kitty,” she said gently. “Were you always this affectionate?”</p><p>“You never gave me the chance before,” Chat said, his cheek resting on her thigh.</p><p>“I still think we’re moving too fast,” Ladybug said, and he sighed. “We’re not dating yet.”</p><p>Chat reluctantly sat up and stretched. “Yeah, I know.”</p><p>“And even if we do, we still can’t drink,” Ladybug said, her feet dangling off the edge of the Tower.</p><p>“To beer or not to beer, that is the question,” Chat said, wrapping his arms around his knee, his other foot hanging off the side of the metal girder. Ladybug wrinkled her nose. “But I agree. Getting tipsy off your parents’ wine was not the way I expected to find out your identity, my Lady.”</p><p>“Likewise,” Ladybug said, sighing. She looked crestfallen, and Chat’s heart went out to her.</p><p>“Ladybug,” Chat said seriously, taking her hand and looking deeply into her eyes.</p><p>“Yes, Chat?”</p><p>“Did you know ghosts only drink booze?”</p><p>She groaned, her head falling forward into her hand. “You’re shameless.”</p><p>Chat’s ears fluttered. “You said you thought I was funny.”</p><p>She booped him on the nose. “When I’m drunk, apparently you’re hilarious.”</p><p>“Well, I do have to confess that my relationship to whiskey has been on the rocks,” Chat said, grinning at her--shamelessly, just like she’d said.</p><p>Ladybug stared at him. Then she threw her head back and laughed. She looped an arm around his shoulders. “Come here, you.”</p><p>Chat gladly laid down in her lap again as she pulled him down. He pressed his head into her hands in an implicit demand for comfort. Her hands scratched behind his feline ears, and he melted into a Chat Noir puddle. He mewled, rubbing his face on her belly and wrapping his arms around her waist again.</p><p>Once she stopped petting him, he found his words again. “I like us like this.”</p><p>“Mm,” Ladybug hummed. “Yeah. It’s… It’s nice.”</p><p>“So can we date?”</p><p>Ladybug smiled indulgently at him. “Stop rushing, Kitty. I don’t want to hurt you, but...”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Chat said, placing a clawed hand on the small of her back. “I won’t drink away my hurts. But if I could do that, they must have been champagne.”</p><p>Chat grinned up at her as she giggled.</p><p><em>Thank you, Tom,</em> Chat thought, snuggling into his Lady--and delighting at the fact that she let him. <em>And happy birthday, Drunkenator, wherever you are.</em></p><p>Chat had a lot to be grateful for. His experiences with alcohol had left him fairly unscathed, and in a better place overall. Not that he ever wanted to be drunk again. The hangover had been terrible, and he never wanted to experience that again if he could help it.</p><p>“My Lady?” Chat said, watching the setting sun cast a purple glow over the Seine.</p><p>“Yeah, Chat?” she said, tracing his feline ear with the backs of her gloved knuckles. He shivered.</p><p>“I just want you to know,” he said, turning his head to look up at her, “that I love you, with all the fibers of my being. If I had to pick one person to be drunk with, you’d be it.”</p><p>Ladybug cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead. “Same, Kitty,” she said. “Same.”</p><p>Chat beamed, sighing in pleasure as she rubbed his feline ear between her index finger and her thumb.</p><p>Chat had been wrong before.</p><p><em>This</em> was the best way to spend a Saturday.</p><p>There was no place he’d rather be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Art by the inestimably talented sseagully, who is an excellent author in her own right! Read her works <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseagully/pseuds/sseagully">here</a>, and visit her tumblr <a href="https://sseagully.tumblr.com/post/623946116128555008/some-fanart-for-the-amazing-and-heartwarming-and">here.</a></p><p>---</p><p>Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the <a href="https://discord.gg/mlfanworks">Miraculous Fanworks</a> Discord server! </p><p>We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from fic discussions to writing support to fanfiction prompts. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! </p><p>Come join today!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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